As we are now 4 days into the new year, I’ve spent some time reading up on events of the past year. After a lot of reading I realized how many “TOP” lists were published. In an attempt to make a list of my own, I’ve come up with two categories. The Best and Worst in Show of 2011. These are stories, celebrities, books, political, and all kinds of other things that happened in 2011. This post is for THE WORST of 2011. And trust me these are pretty bad.
F* up number 10 of 2011: DWTS Judges? What were you thinking? Now Dancing with the Stars is usually a fun ditty to watch on a Monday when you’re bored and nothing else is on. But when you start the season dedicated to certain celebs that are actually quite good, it’s not fair when they get beat by such celebs as Hines Ward. In the spring Kirstie and Ralph got burned and in the fall Ricki should’ve sued. Really?
F* up number 9 of 2011: Lindsey Lohan? Woah… I shouldn’t even have to talk about all the stuff she did in the last year but lets recap. She was still in Rehab in January. In February, she stole a necklace. Was under house arrest May-June and failed a drug test. In October her probation was revoked and there was a story saying she was posing nude for playboy. In November, she spent 5 hours in jail. All we need is to combine 2010-2011 and we could make a calendar!
F* up number 8 of 2011: The remake of Footloose? Wow… there’s not much to say here other than much badly I feel for Denis Quaid. First off, this REMAKE is more like “Step Up 4: Country Style” Let’s be honest. The only people who could successfully do a second Footloose is the original cast of the first one. And by the by, to all those teens that think this movie was brand new, you need to watch more 80’s movies.
F* up number 7 of 2011: Rick Perry’s new favorite word Opps? This one I take personal offense to because I’m from Texas and none of us are THIS STUPID. Let me fight you and have no idea what I’m talking about. Really? Let me make a list… Oh wait. I can’t remember number 3. Opps! Maybe I should’ve had a number 4 on stand by.
F* up number 6 of 2011: Charlie Sheen, is he really winning? There are so many things to say so I’m just gonna sum up. In January he went to rehab. In February he called Chuck Lorre a “clown,” got banned from the lot, and say this as the time to demand a 50% increase in pay. In March, after he was fired from CBS, he announced his stand up comedy tour. In April it started. By the May, the tour was over. In September, he was roasted on Comedy Central. Maybe Charlie Sheen should get together with Lindsay Lohan to make that calendar.
F* up number 5 of 2011: PlayStation Network hacking? Really?! Who had the time and energy to hack into the PlayStation network? All you’re gonna get is the information on nerds that play video games way too much. However, whoever did it, I have to applaud because it kept SOE lost and confused for way too over a month.
F* up number 4 of 2011: Border’s closing its doors? As a result of losing more money than they were making, Borders closed it’s doors across the nation. So no more Borders. They also equated the closing to all of the nation being addicted to using iPads, Nooks and every other electronic version of literature. To be honest Borders, the reason why they closed your doors is because everybody is shopping at Barnes and Noble. No lie just fact.
F* up number 3 of 2011: Maggie Goes on a Diet? Not too many people now about this book but I’m sorry, every time I see the title it pisses me the hell off. So this is the book that basically tells little girls that are over weight that being skin will solve all their problems. Author Paul Kramer, really should’ve took his books advice because let’s face it Kramer, you are NOT one to tell a bunch of girls to be skinny when you aren’t SKINNY!
F* up number 2 of 2011: Congress declares pizza is a vegetable? They actually did it. Okay well, here let me be more specific, they declared Tomato Paste as a vegetable. Which if you think about it makes a lot of things like pizza essentially a vegetable. What I want to know is what made them make this decision? Um… what are we having for dinner? Well I’m on a diet… OH WAIT! We should make tomato sauce a vegetable so we can have pizza! GENIUS! (Absolutely not.)
AND FINALLY THE F* up number 1 of 2011: Muppets are communists?!?!?!?! Okay first off, THEY’RE MADE OF FELT! How the hell can you really think that things made of felt are communists? So thanks to the retarded FOX News that suddenly decides that a greedy evil businessman equals the representation of all conservatives, The Muppets are communists. I think they’re the ones that are the communists because let’s face it, TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE. Further more, no one even thought about this until somebody said it. They’ve been around for more than 6 decades and NOW they say something. Really? EPIC F* UP.
Hope you enjoyed the Worst in Show of 2011.